A funny thing happened March 25, 2008

I was all set to write my blog yesterday when all of a sudden:

A delivery man showed up at my front door with a giant package, claiming it was to be delivered C.O.D.   As I tried to explain to him that I do not remember ordering anything from “Chandelier Swingers, Inc.”, and that I was not going to write a check for $1798.69 without knowing the express contents of the package, the neighborhood cat* chased a squirrel* through my open front door.  I ran back into the house just as the squirrel jumped up on my piano.  After a quick duet of “Heart and Soul” the two rascals continued into the kitchen area, the squirrel taking the high road (on top of the cabinets) while the cat stopped on my counter and began licking my leftover Easter cheesecake. 

By now, the delivery man had let himself in (my screams his invitation).  I, now armed with a broom to chase the squirrel out,  lunged to scare the cat off the counter (and hopefully out of the house) and slipped on the kitchen rug.  On my way to the floor, my broom hit the candle I had burning on the stove.  Flat on my back and now holding a 5 foot torch, I yelled for the delivery man to grab the broom.  As I struggled to my feet, the delivery man threw the fiery broom like a javelin back out through the front door.  I grabbed the cat (who was still enjoying the cheesecake) from the counter and ran for the front door, only to see a gigantic flaming box on my front porch.  By then the firetrucks began arriving.  Once the cardboard bonfire was subdued and thrown into the front yard, the firemen entered the house, their hoses in tow.  As the squirrel ran down the hose and back out the front door, I swear he winked at me and laughed. 

With the intruders gone and the fire out, the delivery man continued insisting on payment for the charred remains of the mystery box.  With the police there to intervene, we discovered that he had delivered the box to the wrong address.  The “swingers” lived next door. 

Ok….none of that actually happened.  I just didn’t have a good excuse for not writing my blog yesterday……(I’m feeling a bit constipated creatively these days and am struggling to come up with material worthy of print).  So I made something up.  Don’t be mad.  *No animals were actually harmed in the making of this blog.